Loneliness, a (very) short blog...

I’m feeling lonely.

The aforementioned admission is NOT to be mistaken for desperation or an inability to deal with being alone. I’ve been living by myself and enjoying it (for the most part) far for the past seven years (that’s most of my young adult life.) SO DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!!! I love my life!!! I love my freedom. I love my job/career. I love the condo I’m renting until I save to buy a house. I love how my body is healing itself through Bikram’s torture chamber. I love my king size bed. I love being able to go to the food museum a.k.a. Whole Foods, any time I want. I love my new church home & church family. I love that I live less than a mile from working farms and cornfield preserves!!! And I love that I live about 25 minutes from a REAL city!!!

I have so much that I love. I just want to (and am ready to) share it.

And I’m not one of those women who has to have a man to be okay (See “love” list above. I’m really more than okay). But to keep it one hunit (as the chilren say), I like (and miss) having a man around. I miss their smell, especially after they’ve moved something heavy, lol. I miss how they think differently than I do and do things differently than I do. I miss the simple (but not simplistic) thinking and the (seemingly) logical connection to action/fix it/do whatever it takes to make me feel better, lol (even when it’s not helpful! HA!) I like (and miss) being in a relationship and thinking about what I can do to help “we” be better.

Unlike other times I’ve felt lonely, I’m just going to allow myself to feel this feeling without judgment. No “make yourself busy” tactics to dodge the discomfort. On the other hand, I’m not going to wallow in this or even think about WHY I’m feeling this way. I’m just gonna feel it and let it pass. The Bikram yoga HELPS!!! If I can breathe through Camel Pose, I can deal with feeling lonely.